Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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