Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
