happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
