I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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