Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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