What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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