Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
