Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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