watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
