I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
