theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
