Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
