I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
