Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
