I am puke
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
