You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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