The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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