im having a threesome with these popsicles
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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