No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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