I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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