i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
