It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
