im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
