I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
is wine microwaveable?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
