Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
