I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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