u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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