if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
