Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
