I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
