It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
