I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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