piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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