i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
