He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
