Well apparently he's into motor boating.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
