Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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