if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
