so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i will never coherently bang her
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
