Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
