i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she smelled like a LAN party
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
