I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
