we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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