At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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