what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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