K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
