He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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