i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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