giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
