these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
